Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
