Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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