No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
