David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
