My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
