so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
