I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
