That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
