i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
