Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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