Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You were trust falling into bushes
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
