I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
