Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Randomize
