Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
