so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
