she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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