Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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