Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
