so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
