Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
