Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
