Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
