lets start a swedish sibling band together
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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