I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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