I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
