my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
