Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
