He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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