can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Is it because I queefed?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
