Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
