I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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