she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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