What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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