Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
