You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
