Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So much rum. So many feels.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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