If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
