Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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