I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
My feet surprised me
Randomize
