Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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