so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
