Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
