I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
