I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
