i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
