If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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