Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
she looked like the before picture.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
