did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
