Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
