Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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