fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
